Surrender: Trust in Life

SURRENDER – I used to think, that that’s something only people in the movies would say to a villain, with a gun in their hand, pointing, ready to shoot: “Surrender!”

Now this word has a totally different effect on me. It takes me by the hand and says: “It’s okay, you can let-go now.” And my big plans, my rigidness, my learned tightness in the body and my fearful chest-breathing turn into relaxation and a slow but steady opening. I just have to surrender. Nothing more.

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How to shield yourself from a Narcissist

I grew up with a narcissistic mom. Naturally, I knew nothing of my self-worth or what I wanted and needed. I did not have the chance to develop an inner voice. The narcissistic parent tends to undermine that.

They don’t do it consciously, I don’t think. Still, the result is a kid, then a teenager and finally a young adult, who does not know what’s going on inside of them. It might seem like they do, but important feelings, needs and wishes are buried deep down.

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Don’t move! Just relax into it!

The last few months have been so so stressful. More than the level of stress I anticipated for my life in the foreseeable future. As I wrote before, I did not have the feeling, that what I had learned along the way, was helping much. Sure, a little bit. Otherwise, I would be sick all the time  – Which I was hardly at all! Yaaaaay! – or flipping out every single day – Which I am not! Really happy about that! So yeah, some progress, but as I wrote before, it felt like a lot of regress, too.

So what to do? I had to think about my meditation teacher, how when he was going through some heavy stuff his teacher told him: “If you can’t go left or right, back or forth, up or down – stay exactly where you are.”

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