In Part I of this blog series on love and fear I was describing a little bit of my own experience, how things shifted for me. If you hadn’t had a chance to read it, here it is: http://lifewithmyself.com/love-fear-choice-part1
In this Part II of the blog series I want to talk more directly about love and fear as basic energies and how important it is to notice them, especially fear, as a first step to change.
Love and Fear – There is nothing else
Love and fear are the basic energies, that govern human experience. Strictly speaking, they are the only ways we can experience the world. Either we are in the state of love or in the state of fear. Everything else is a shading of the two. I call them energies because that is how we can experience them in the body and in our consciousness. And it is all about the experience, isn’t it?
Taking on this view to radically simplify reality is a method and a decision you can make. Sometimes we have to get very simple about the big things in life. And getting all the complicated stuff, you can add on later, once you can decipher your experience of love and fear much quicker and take necessary actions, is no problem. We can easily get more complicated in our view in a heartbeat. But for now, drawing a picture of black and white, of fear and love, helps us see through the thicket and to master the map of our inner world.
What about hate, anger, jealousy and so on? Well, you can always see them as a certain mix of fear and love. One is maybe 80% fear and 20% love, another might be more of a 99% & 1% mixture. You can try in situations, where derivative emotions come up (all the mixes of love and fear), to feel how much love or fear you can find in them. At that point, you become an interested observer. But let’s go back to the basics:
Who wants to live in fear?
If there is only love and fear, the decision in which one you want to live most ist probably a no-brainer! Who doesn’t want to live life from a space of love, which includes self-love as much as love for others and for this world? We all crave paradise, that’s the oldest story in the book in our culture: The loss of paradise and wish to regain entrance to it. Living in a state of love is exactly that, it’s paradise, it’s the feeling of being enough, having enough, trusting deeply, and warm-hearted nurturing interactions with oneself and others. We all want that. Even the cynics who say they don’t. They might rather say, that they do not necessarily want fear in their life, but as you will see further below, that’s just another way of saying, you want love.
Living in a constant fear seems to be the default setting for humans. It is engrained in our nature to fight, flee or freeze. But sadly the recovery from this response does not come as easy to us as to some other animals. We seem to have mastered the way of living in fear full-time. And these are often not even life-threatening situations, that evoke fears. No, we have a whole compendium of fears, that have nothing to do with the fight for our survival, but which very vividly feel like that! As a global society, in our development over many centuries, we have now become possibly the most fearful we have ever been. So we need to start developing an antidote to this constant stress, this all-encompassing fear, be it on a personal, professional, societal or global scale. And as always, we start with ourselves.
Notice when you are in fear
If there is only love and fear, then love means the absence of fear. Always. Love is the antidote, that, which saves us.
In order to move from fear to love, we need to be aware of the two states we are in. That’s the first step. It might be the hardest because we tend to treat our inner world the same we treat the outer one (inside as outside). And since we instinctively run away from or fight fearful situations in the outer world, we often exhibit similar behaviors, when it comes to our inner realm. We run from our fears as much as we can. We distract ourselves in the hope the fear might be gone by the time we’re finished being absent. But it doesn’t work that way. Otherwise, your favorite comedy show would actually count as therapy 😀
So I invite you to try something different. After all these years of fighting and running from fear, start fighting it just a little less. Just a moment of noticing is enough at first and with time you will expand the amount of presence and observation you can bear in each fearful moment. But for now, just notice.
A little sidenote: My focus is so much on noticing fear because that’s the hard part. Since, when we are in love, we are more present and tend to feel our feelings more clearly anyways. Although it is good to try to notice the energy of love more detailed as well. But I feel like that happens over time naturally on its own. The big nag is fear.
Your body holds the key
But how do we notice fear? – Fear is an energy, that we can experience as an observer in the body. What I mean by that is that we can be present with that energy for a while instead of feeding into the story of fear all up in our head. When focusing on how our body feels in each situation we can learn to differentiate between fear and the absence of fear, which is love. And that’s key!
While practicing that, you’ll see, that you’ll start noticing more subtle waves of fear and love energies in the body. You are fine tuning your consciousness. This way you can shift into love sooner and sooner. Long before fears have piled up to bang on the door of your perception, so to say.
If you have trouble noticing anything on the level of body and experience, start training your body in some form of body therapy or body awareness method. In a lot of cultures, we grow up very head-heavy nowadays. This means that we are very disconnected from feeling and being present in the body. Since this is a vital necessity for our well-being, I can only encourage you to train to be in the body as a counterbalance to being so dominantly in the mind. Once you get better at body awareness, you will find it easier to notice fear as an energy, moving through you.
Next time we are going to talk about how to actually shift towards love, once you notice fear. Stay tuned for that and go, heal yourself <3
If you want to work with me on how to shift from fear to love in your life, just contact me via this link and book a free support session. I can only encourage you to invest in this process. There is a beautiful life waiting for you. You just have to go and look for it deep inside you! I wish you all the best, lots of love, Lilly
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