The more I get to know myself and the world, the less I can describe it. Words are not accurate anymore for what I am experiencing. Words seem like a big piece of untreated clay in the midst of beautifully handcrafted pottery.
Poetry already points to that fact. It uses words on the edge of experiences, that we can barely talk about. Only in a poetic way, the words point to a world beyond our logical mind. But then again poetry mostly paints pictures, metaphors, exactly because it tries to speak the unspeakable.
Coming from a very mind centered way of being, my way into the body, into existence beyond the logical thought-heavy head, has been quite a challenge at times and always, always a total surprise and joy. I still am pretty regularly in awe, when I realize with my body and my whole being, a very deep-rooted truth of mine. There is so much power and beauty in that alone.
I was used to passing on ideas, words, something to use for someone else. You can do that with head-stuff. But the heart and the body are mostly muted in the land of words.
We try to describe what is happening anyways. In spirituality that is often the case. There is a pointer towards what has been seen. But you can’t do much with the pointer if you don’t follow it and go look for yourself.
So now that typical word constructs fail me, or at least seem so limited, that I fall silent at times, I do have a solution which is more of a process than a done deal: Being descriptive and at the same time more poetic, more metaphoric again. (Like I used to be when I wrote lots and lots of poetry because it was the only way to let my emotions come into being clear enough.)
Now I can describe what I have learned, what I got to see and feel, with a language, that allows for that kind of world in the hope that others see it as a pointer and not a full on recount of the experience.
It will be a while, until I find the right metaphors, the right wording, especially since English is not my first language. But in the spirit of sharing what can be healing to others, too, I am trying my best. It’s a good motivation to finally update and find the language that fits the whole of me and not just my head.
How have you experienced changes in communication while developing on a path of healing, mindfulness and being more present in body and heart?
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