About 6 weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night. And half asleep I opened my eyes and thought in a very decisive way: “Okay, give me the next step!” It was a command, a wish and an allowing for something to happen. My conscious mind was just waking up slightly, peeking through the veils of dream. For a few seconds, nothing happened, until a huge wave of energy started to simultaneously surge from both of my feet, up the legs to meet at the base of my spine and then push their way further up my spine. At first, I was lying sideways, a little twisted in a half side, half belly sleeping position. When the energy didn’t manage to move up fast enough it felt as hot as coming to close to an actual flame, so I intuitively moved on to my back, trying to let, whatever this was, pass through me. It finally made its way out through hands and head.
Today is one of these days, where my energy is so low, that even a trip to the kitchen to fill up on tea, seems like a lot. I try my best to give my body what it needs, to restore itself. Enough hydration, good food and a lot of rest, if possible. And definitely a relaxed mindset. No Problem.
It used to be different though. I had long periods of fatigue, that sometimes even ended up in me having a cold. Or just not being able to get out of bed for multiple days. These heavy exhaustive states were accompanied by anger and frustration at myself and my body. It seemed like a failure.